Sarah Wright Olsen and Teresa Palmer.Photo: Gemma Pranita
Teresa PalmerandSarah Wright Olsenhave supported each other through the joy and pain that comes with motherhood, including pregnancy loss.
Now, the actors and co-founders of theYour Zen Mamablog, are sharing their stories in a new book that encompasses motherhood — from infertility to postpartum — and advice so parents and little ones can be healthy and “zen(ish).”
“We want it to feel like we’re giving you a big warm hug, and we are being encouraging and supportive and uplifting,” Palmer, 35, says in a joint interview with Wright Olsen, 37, aboutThe Zen Mama Guide to Finding Your Rhythm in Pregnancy, Birth, and Beyond,which published on Tuesday.
“We also really hope that women will take away from the book that they need to let their mama intuitive voice be the loudest voice they listen to,” she continues. “Take what works for you, and leave the rest.”
Sarah Wright Olsen with her daughter.Gemma Pranita
Wright Olsen, who has starred inMad Menand currently appears in Netflix’sSpinning Out, shares Esmé, 4, Wyatt, 7, and Winter, 6 months, with herNCIS: Los Angelesstar husband,Eric Christian Olsen.
While they both consider themselves “pretty relaxed” moms when it comes to their parenting style, they’ve also ridden out storms together. In 2015, Palmer says she suffered a pregnancy loss, which she shares inThe Zen Mama Guide.
Years later, while writing the book together, Wright Olsen says she also experienced a pregnancy loss — and she turned to her friend and her words for comfort.
“I actually suffered a pregnancy loss while we were writing the book. Teresa had written the pregnancy loss chapter in her voice,” says Wright Olsen. “I did a disclaimer at the beginning that said, ‘This is how you can support someone and be a good friend.’ And ‘Don’t shy away from them, it makes them feel even more isolated.’ Then in the process of editing, I actually had a pregnancy loss.”
The star continues: “I called Teresa, and went back and I read all the pages that she had written and all the different stories. It was something that really helped me to heal and made me feel so held.”
For Wright Olsen, reading their draft after her pregnancy loss served as an “affirmation.”
“It’s so good that we [included a section on pregnancy loss] because it helped me in real time,” she says. “So I knew that it would help someone else.”
Keep reading for more from the candid joint interview in which the stars share about giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic and their parenting styles.
Teresa Palmer.Gemma Pranita
PEOPLE: What kind of misunderstandings and misconceptions about pregnancy loss do you want to dismantle with your book?
We want women to pick up this book and read it and feel so included in the process. If they’re reading this book and they suffer pregnancy loss, they don’t have to put this book away. They can continue reading this book. If they’re struggling with infertility, they can continue reading this book. You hear pregnancy loss and you think of one particular thing, but there are so many specific types of loss. We just wanted to dedicate that time to writing about all of it.
PEOPLE:What helped you heal after you pregnancy loss?
WRIGHT OLSEN: I would say the same: hearing other people’s stories and just talking to my friends. I wasn’t aware of how many people in my life had experienced pregnancy loss at that point. But I do remember, after this weekend where I took a lot of time for myself to process what was happening, I came home to flowers on my doorstep from one of my friends who had also suffered pregnancy loss. Another one of my friends sent chocolate and a bottle of wine to my house. Someone else showed up at my door, and Teresa FaceTimed me. I was just like, “Whoa!” I honestly had no idea that that was a way that people show up for you when something like that happens. I’ve suffered different kinds of loss in my life, but never that, and [the support] was just so beautiful.
Sarah Wright Olsen.Gemma Pranita
PEOPLE: Sarah, what was it like to give birth during the pandemic?
WRIGHT OLSEN: I was nervous… I’d had a home birth before with my first child. I kept thinking, should I go back to do a home birth again? Because I had planned a hospital birth and I just really love my doctor. My gut kept telling me that I wanted to be with my doctor at the hospital, even though it was COVID, which was crazy because I’m like the most locked down person. For me, it definitely felt like more of a medical setting this time around….
PEOPLE: Teresa, how is this pregnancy experience different from the others?
PALMER: I went in for a scan and the whole experience was so different. The signs everywhere saying you cannot bring a guest in, one person at a time in the waiting room. It was actually a very well-oiled machine….
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PEOPLE: What advice do you give to new moms in your book? Especially as they navigate physical and emotional challenges after giving birth?
PALMER: We have a postpartum section of the book where we focus on how your mind is affected. When your lows feel too low, what do you do? Who do you turn to? Who can you call? We write out very distinct symptoms and signs so people can actually read them and say, “Oh, this does sound like me. I am feeling like it’s getting worse, not getting better again.”
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PEOPLE: How would you describe your parenting style?
PALMER: Sarah is my No. 1 go-to when there’s something going on with the kids. I’m like, “Oh my goodness, it’s crazy over here. How do I deal with this?” Because we’re so like-minded in the way we parent … I like to say we’re with both pretty relaxed. We’re pretty chill. I try and keep things fun and light.
It’s important to set boundaries with your kids, but we try and make things an adventure and be as understanding and compassionate to the children as possible. … Sarah and I don’t practice traditional discipline with our kids. It’s definitely more of a conscious-minded, gentle discipline and actually just talking to them, communicating with them, talking about their feelings.
WRIGHT OLSEN: For example, I told my daughter the other day, “I’m feeling really nervous, I have this meeting. I’m feeling it right here, like tension in my chest, and I’m feeling nervous. What do you think I should do about it?” And my daughter, who’s now 4 years old, she was like, “Well, you have to do the meeting, right?” I was like, “Yeah.” She goes, “So I think you need to take a deep breath into where you’re feeling it.” And she was like, “And then exhale.” And she said, “And you got to tell yourself, we got to just keep moving forward.” And I was like, “I love that, that’s a great thing! Okay, I’m going to do it.” [Then she said,] “And really? At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter.”
Teresa and I both follow this philosophy with our kids: Meet the needs as the needs arise.
The Zen Mama Guide to Finding Your Rhythm in Pregnancy, Birth, and Beyondison salenow.
source: people.com
