Jessie Jis opening up about her 2021 miscarriage.
Jessie J first announced her miscarriage ina now-deleted Instagram postshared while on stage prior toher Nov. 24 performanceat The Hotel Cafe in Los Angeles. The singer said she struggled to process her emotions until after the show.
“When I got home that night and I lay there, I’ve never felt so lonely in my life… I just remember laying there, knowing it was still there, but it wasn’t there. That went on for over a week,” Jessie said on the podcast.
After feeling out of whack at the beginning of the pregnancy, Jessie J woke up one November morning and said to herself, “Oh, I don’t feel right.”
“I still had very intense nausea, [but] I just knew something wasn’t the same,” explained the singer, who later called a doctor to get checked out.
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Jessie J said she sensed something was wrong after “that dreadful silence when you first have a scan and they kind of don’t say anything.”
After receiving the news, Jessie J said she cried to herself on the street outside of the doctor’s office. That’s when a man approached her with words of encouragement.
“[He] said, ‘This is happening because you’re supposed to talk about this. You’re supposed to help other people.’ And instead of going to get blood, I got in my car and I said, ‘I’m going to get a second opinion.’ "
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Afterward, Jessie J spoke with a member of her team about whether or not to continue with her shows as scheduled — andshe did.
“I remember just going [home] and not processing it,” she said. “… And then the next day I went straight into glam, I did the soundcheck and I got on stage.”
That’s when she made the announcement on Instagram. “I posted it because I didn’t have anyone to break on,” she recalled. “I didn’t have anyone to just fall apart on and that’s what I needed, that’s what I wanted.”
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“That was the worst moment of the whole experience, was me realizing that, other than my career, being a mother and having a child has been the biggest excitement of my life,” Jessie J said. “Like, I’ve always been super maternal. I love children. … I felt like I’d been given everything I’d ever wanted and then someone had gone, ‘But you can’t have it.’ "
Despite the sad experience, Jessie J believes “the reason it happened was because I wasn’t supposed to do it alone.”
“I’m supposed to find someone that wants this as much as I do,” she said. “I’m grateful that I got to experience being pregnant… It’s opened the door for me to love myself deeper. I’m still processing the whole thing. I have moments of intense sadness and grief, but I also have moments of excitement knowing that I won’t do it alone.”
source: people.com
