Debbie Matenopoulos.Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty/SiriusXMDebbie Matenopoulosis opening up about her heartbreaking experience with miscarriages.On Tuesday’s episode of theAllison Interviewspodcast, the formerViewco-host, 47, revealed that she secretly suffered nine miscarriages while working on Hallmark’sHome & Familyshow.“I was fortunate enough to be able to have [my daughter] Alexandra, but unfortunately, and I have not talked about this before, but after Alexandra, I had such a hard time staying pregnant. I had nine miscarriages,” she tells host Allison Kugel.“I was pregnant for, like, five years straight and no one knew except my stylist that I was pregnant. I would lose them, always. The first three were really hard, and then after that I got to a point where I was like, ‘Is this a joke? Really?!’ " she recalls.“My heart was broken so many times that I got to a point where I said, ‘Okay, this is what the universe and what God wants, and this is just how it is supposed to be,’ " adds Matenopoulos, who welcomed her daughter Alexandra in October 2014.Subscribe to our new 12-episode weekly podcast,Me Becoming Mom,to hear celebrity moms open up exclusively to PEOPLE about their extraordinary roads to motherhood.“So I just stopped trying. I stopped trying because I just felt so defeated, and God, I love babies. When I look at little babies my ovaries hurt,” she admits.The Ikaria Beauty founder says she would still “love to be able to give my daughter a sister, maybe even [through] adoption.““That is not out of the question, but going through that again … I have a soft spot for anyone else who’s ever had a miscarriage,” she says, going on to share which was the “worst” of her miscarriages.“Probably the worst one for me was when I was about four months pregnant at that point, and I had to host theGolden Globesred carpet forThe Insider,” she recalls. “I had the D&C (dilation and curettage) on Saturday and then I had to host theGolden Globeson Sunday.“Matenopoulos also shares her love for being a mom to daughter Alexandra.“Looking back now, I think geez, had I known I was going to like being a mother so much I would have started much earlier. I would have been a teen pregnancy,” she says with a laugh. “If I knew I would love being a mom like this, I would have had 20 kids if I could.”

Debbie Matenopoulos.Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty/SiriusXM

Debbie Matenopoulos

Debbie Matenopoulosis opening up about her heartbreaking experience with miscarriages.On Tuesday’s episode of theAllison Interviewspodcast, the formerViewco-host, 47, revealed that she secretly suffered nine miscarriages while working on Hallmark’sHome & Familyshow.“I was fortunate enough to be able to have [my daughter] Alexandra, but unfortunately, and I have not talked about this before, but after Alexandra, I had such a hard time staying pregnant. I had nine miscarriages,” she tells host Allison Kugel.“I was pregnant for, like, five years straight and no one knew except my stylist that I was pregnant. I would lose them, always. The first three were really hard, and then after that I got to a point where I was like, ‘Is this a joke? Really?!’ " she recalls.“My heart was broken so many times that I got to a point where I said, ‘Okay, this is what the universe and what God wants, and this is just how it is supposed to be,’ " adds Matenopoulos, who welcomed her daughter Alexandra in October 2014.Subscribe to our new 12-episode weekly podcast,Me Becoming Mom,to hear celebrity moms open up exclusively to PEOPLE about their extraordinary roads to motherhood.“So I just stopped trying. I stopped trying because I just felt so defeated, and God, I love babies. When I look at little babies my ovaries hurt,” she admits.The Ikaria Beauty founder says she would still “love to be able to give my daughter a sister, maybe even [through] adoption.““That is not out of the question, but going through that again … I have a soft spot for anyone else who’s ever had a miscarriage,” she says, going on to share which was the “worst” of her miscarriages.“Probably the worst one for me was when I was about four months pregnant at that point, and I had to host theGolden Globesred carpet forThe Insider,” she recalls. “I had the D&C (dilation and curettage) on Saturday and then I had to host theGolden Globeson Sunday.“Matenopoulos also shares her love for being a mom to daughter Alexandra.“Looking back now, I think geez, had I known I was going to like being a mother so much I would have started much earlier. I would have been a teen pregnancy,” she says with a laugh. “If I knew I would love being a mom like this, I would have had 20 kids if I could.”

Debbie Matenopoulosis opening up about her heartbreaking experience with miscarriages.

On Tuesday’s episode of theAllison Interviewspodcast, the formerViewco-host, 47, revealed that she secretly suffered nine miscarriages while working on Hallmark’sHome & Familyshow.

“I was fortunate enough to be able to have [my daughter] Alexandra, but unfortunately, and I have not talked about this before, but after Alexandra, I had such a hard time staying pregnant. I had nine miscarriages,” she tells host Allison Kugel.

“I was pregnant for, like, five years straight and no one knew except my stylist that I was pregnant. I would lose them, always. The first three were really hard, and then after that I got to a point where I was like, ‘Is this a joke? Really?!’ " she recalls.

“My heart was broken so many times that I got to a point where I said, ‘Okay, this is what the universe and what God wants, and this is just how it is supposed to be,’ " adds Matenopoulos, who welcomed her daughter Alexandra in October 2014.

Subscribe to our new 12-episode weekly podcast,Me Becoming Mom,to hear celebrity moms open up exclusively to PEOPLE about their extraordinary roads to motherhood.

“So I just stopped trying. I stopped trying because I just felt so defeated, and God, I love babies. When I look at little babies my ovaries hurt,” she admits.

The Ikaria Beauty founder says she would still “love to be able to give my daughter a sister, maybe even [through] adoption.”

“That is not out of the question, but going through that again … I have a soft spot for anyone else who’s ever had a miscarriage,” she says, going on to share which was the “worst” of her miscarriages.

“Probably the worst one for me was when I was about four months pregnant at that point, and I had to host theGolden Globesred carpet forThe Insider,” she recalls. “I had the D&C (dilation and curettage) on Saturday and then I had to host theGolden Globeson Sunday.”

Matenopoulos also shares her love for being a mom to daughter Alexandra.

“Looking back now, I think geez, had I known I was going to like being a mother so much I would have started much earlier. I would have been a teen pregnancy,” she says with a laugh. “If I knew I would love being a mom like this, I would have had 20 kids if I could.”

source: people.com