Click to viewWill Smith ’s drunk - and - disorderly superhero picture show , Hancock , gain theater of operations today , a full three days early . You ca n’t assist but inquire if Warner Bros. is trying to get the movie out there before all the bad buzz , and horrendous reviews , take gist . The sad thing is , there are a bunch of ways that Hancock could have release into a somewhat decent plastic film . Our recapitulation , with spoilers and a list of where Hancock go wrong , below .

Ways Hancock could have sucked considerably less :

1 : Do the nasty - superhero affair right on

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The first half of Hancock is a watered down reading of the drollery that those drone promised you : Hancock is a superhero who ’s fallen into disgrace , thanks to hard - drinking hooligan direction . This is a premise with almost unlimited potential , and yet the movie still manage to flub it . The movie replicate the same joke a 12 times : someone calls Hancock an asshole , and Hancock gets pissed , so the guy wire calls Hancock an arse a 2nd clock time . John Hancock scowls and says , “ Call me an asshole one … more … prison term . ” And the other soul say “ asshole ” one more sentence . Then Hancock use his major power to love this soul up in a hilarious way . The joke work once or twice , but then you start to inquire : who would ever knowingly fuck with Hancock ? He ’s bulletproof and has top-notch strength ! People roll in the hay all about him and his power , but they still challenge him . Do n’t they recognize how it ’s plump to end up ? It ’s almost as if the scriptwriters think the fact that masses do n’t respect Hancock entail they do n’t fear him . It would have made more sense – and been funnier – for mass to trash - talk Hancock and yet be terrify of arrest in his style .

2 : Have some supervillains

So Hancock is the world ’s only superhero , in a world with no supervillains or other oversized threats . Hancock pass his metre fighting small - time crooks , who pose no menace to him . Do you care watching a drunk guy swat flies ? Then you ’ll love this .

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Why are there no supervillains ? It ’s a trouble with superhero movies in ecumenical : they require to tell a simple , easily comprehended level in under two hour , so they keep the mankind - build simpleton . You ca n’t really have Batroc the Leaper chute into Iron Man , because you ’ll have to explain who the the pits this guy is and why he ’s jump around with his silly Gallic accent . Much simpler just to have Iron Man fight a cat who ’s using Iron Man ’s own stolen engineering science . Iron Man vs. Fake Iron Man . It ’s our world , just with superintendent - armour . Or Hulk vs. Fake Hulk . Hancock takes this eldritch prototype to its furthest extreme point , and in the physical process it shows how conciliatory our modern mythology of superheroes is n’t . Plus supervillains = mechanically funny . The boasting , the elephantine gadgets , the Dr. Horribleness .

3 Explain why just Hancock is a superhero anyway .

Hancock is a god among mortals . Should n’t he be , I do n’t know , queen of the humans or something ? Instead he ’s living in two smushed - together trailers and sleeping on a commons bench . He ’s intoxicated all the time and people hate him because he cause tons of dimension terms in the course of campaign felon . And it ’s never explained why Hancock feels the need to fight small - time tough . There ’s a throwaway descent late in the motion-picture show that say Hancock is a “ protector ” by nature , with an in - built motive to help people . But it ’s very thrown-away . And he could protect people lots of other room besides foil liquor - store looting in L.A. He could be give up the race murder in Darfur . As anyone who ’s read Michael Chabon ’s Kavalier And Clay have a go at it , the all important question is not , “ How does Batman fight crime ? ” but , “ Why does Batman enclothe up as a bat and fight offense ? ” In the subject of Hancock , we probe his brain a little fleck , and get a vague mother wit that he ’s filled with self - loathe because nobody came to get him when he turn up , amnesic , in a hospital 80 years ago . But it ’s all pretty thin sauce .

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4 More Jason Bateman being funny

This moving-picture show ’s MVP is really Jason Bateman from Arrested Development . Actually , Will Smith take his common spell to some horrendous material , but Bateman ’s the actor who really shines in Hancock – even though his character is really super square . Bateman ’s conjecture to be the world ’s slap-up PR guy wire , but all we ever see him do is fail to convince companies to sign on to his incredibly washy charity project , which involves putting an ugly heart logo on their product . The funniest office of Hancock have to do with Bateman examine to rehabilitate Hancock ’s picture and win over him to play nice . The long succession of the white guy rope in a case seek to “ civilise ” the scary black hombre is a little creepy , but it does succumb some actual humor . Bateman convinces Hancock that he should say “ Good problem ” to police officers when he shows up at at a crime scenery , because the pig are putting their lives on the telephone circuit . So Hancock go around woodenly say “ Good line of work ” to everyone . ( First , Hancock has to go to jail so he can show some humility , and make everybody miss him . )

It ’s just too bad that the funny Bateman present moment are outweigh by the tedious Bateman - pimping - his - charity moments , and the later Bateman - feeling - sad - about - his - marriage moments ( we ’ll get to that in a sec . )

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5 Make this movie about something

One of the things that ’s frustrating about Hancock is it ’s full of metaphors – which are n’t examined or explored at all . Like the idea that he ’s the earthly concern ’s only superpower , and everybody hates him . Do you remember they maybe hate him because he ’s the only superpower ? Also , the fact that he ’s filled with self - loathing because of his memory loss – what ’s that about ? And the idea that superheroes are our “ modern mythology , ” and a god who came to Earth would make up one’s mind to be a superhero . There ’s receive to be some voltage there somewhere . Any one of those estimation , explore in an interesting mode , would be right smart funnier than what we got .

6 Put back the unsportsmanlike stuff .

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As wementioneda couple of times , Hancock was gutted to squeak into a PG-13 paygrade , which is the money angelic spot in Hollywood . Along the way of life , everything really outrageous got sliced out of the picture show . There ’s no more sex with underage ( well , 17 - year - old ) girls . No more projectile come rive fix in the roof of Hancock ’s trailer . ( Although you may still see the hollow , in one tantrum . ) I ’m judge a caboodle of other half-baked comical stuff got removed at some point , and what ’s get out is sort of sad . Plus , Smith is driven to make Hancock appealing even though he ’s supposed to be an asshole . As a result , Smith seems kind of bewildered . In fact , Hancock seems delimitation autistic at times , especially in his interaction with Bateman . Smith is driven to make us know a superpowered drunk quasi - homeless guy with anger outlet , so he settles on making him seem sort of childlike and befuddle . Why ca n’t Hancock just be a cock ?

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7 completely rethink the movie ’s big bend

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As you may have heard , Hancock is really two movies smushed together . The first one-half is a weak clowning , and you ’ve already seen the funniest parts in the laggard . And then the second half is an unbearable melodrama . It take place really suddenly . There ’s a consequence where Hancock suddenly turns into My Super Ex - Girlfriend for a minute , and then it switches gear and becomes a schlocky love story devoid of chemistry . And here ’s where thing get spoilery .

So it turn out that Jason Bateman ’s wife , play by Charlize Theron , is actually an immortal superbeing like Hancock . And she and Hancock have been quasi - married before , but Hancock lost his memory of their past together . And whenever the two of them are together , they start to become mortal . Which is how the rest of their immortal slipstream died off , by pair up . Theron ’s theatrical role Mary is trying to hide her super - being status – so she flings Hancock through a bulwark . Good job , Mary !

8 Can the love story .

At some point , you realize that we ’re suppose to care about the kinship between Hancock and Mary , even though there ’s no chemistry between them and they ’re verbalize about gods and immortality and luck and blah blah blah . The late scenes between them are up there with Hayden and Natalie in the Star Wars prequels . It ’s amply Lake on Naboo - tiful . And the idea that they become mortal when they ’re in each other ’s presence is just kind of ludicrous and plaguy , and makes for a horrendously schlocky sexual climax .

9 Decide what variety of moving picture you ’re make .

And here ’s really the crux of what went wrong with Hancock . Is it a brainsick outrageous drollery about a crappy superhero ? Then fucking go for it , and show us how crazy you could get . Is it an understated Jason Bateman funniness about a P.R. White House who hear to work with a superhero to improve his icon ? That really could have been a great flick , if the whole movie was about that . Is it an exploration of why Hancock is such a dick ? Or is it a tragic sexual love account of two immortal and skillful - looking people who can never be together ? ( If so , then no thanks . ) If Hancock had plunk one movie to be , it might have managed to be reasonably okay . alternatively , it ’s a mash - up of five really forged movies .

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